Things I Thought I Might’ve Done By Now

As many of you are (painfully) aware, I’ve recently become an Empty Nester. Along with the expected emotional upheaval (I miss my kids a whole, whole lot), I’m working through some other garbage. Namely, I’ve reached the rather painful conclusion that my life is half over, and (aside from rearing two dynamite young people) I haven’t done a damn thing with it.

And so, it is in that psychological state that I present to you, in no particular order, a list.

By now, I thought I might’ve:

  1. opened a combination bookstore/muffin shop
  2. started a Christmas tree farm that employed women who were formerly imprisoned
  3. climbed a rather large mountain
  4. and then repelled down from it
  5. written a short fiction piece for The New Yorker
  6. written a children’s story
  7. written the Great American Novel
  8. written a prize-winning essay
  9. written anything really, of any sort of consequence at all
  10. published a photo in Life
  11. helped to start a tiny home community for people experiencing homelessness
  12. participated in a tough mudder
  13. or least run a 5K
  14. gone to law school
  15. become fluent in American Sign Language
  16. opened a counseling agency to serve families with Deaf members
  17. become an astronaut
  18. become a trainer at SeaWorld
  19. taught a college class
  20. swum with porpoises
  21. gone on an African safari
  22. visited the pyramids in Egypt
  23. piloted a hot air balloon
  24. become a journalist
  25. become an advertising executive
  26. experienced the redwoods
  27. learned to rock climb
  28. opened a restaurant specializing in pot pies of all sorts–both sweet and savory (this one’s actually a new idea, but it belongs on this list in any case)
  29. hiked the Grand Canyon
  30. learned to play the alto saxophone
  31. gone bungee jumping
  32. owned a horse
  33. gone snowboarding
  34. met Harrison Ford
  35. learned appropriate self-disclosure (ha!)
  36. gone skydiving
  37. become a cellist

There are surely more, but I’m going to stop there. Today, #13 seems the easiest place to start getting caught up, and I have a date with my spiffy new running shoes.