A Long-Form Morning Haiku*

My calendar says
I was to start writing at
7 this morning.

That didn’t happen,
Because, hello? Saturday.
So I slept ’til 9.

I’ve had my breakfast.
Leftover pizza. Coffee.
Which has me thinking:

Some people, I’m told,
Chop leftover pizza and
Scramble it with eggs.

Pizza Breakfast Hash!
Brilliant? Or psychopathic?
I have opinions.

The pieces should work.
Hash has eggs, meat, cheese, and such.
Plated with toast.

But pizza and eggs?
Sorry, it’s a no from me.
You people are weird.

Also, the right way
To serve leftover pizza is
Cold. Straight from the box.

* Although I’ve followed the syllable pattern of haiku (5, 7, 5), this isn’t technically haiku. My understanding is real haiku juxtapose two ideas and traditionally have a nature theme. Also, I don’t think there’s any such thing as “long form” haiku. That’s pretty much the opposite of the point of haiku. 

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