Lawd Jesus

My version of fight or flight looks like have-an-extreme-and/or-inappropriate-emotional-reaction or curl-up-in-the-fetal-position-in-the-corner-and-cry-until-someone-delivers-a-pint-of-Baskin-Robbins-Peanut-Butter-‘n-Chocolate. Today, I’ve been sort of oscillating between the two extremes, which basically means I was still in my pajamas at noon, I ate my weight in Halloween candy before 10 am, and I used most of a box of tissues from 9 to 10:30 am watching six too many “most emotional moments on the X-factor” YouTube videos.

(I’m a riot to live with. Truly.)

What has you all fight-or-flightish, Kelley? You’re so sweet to ask. Several things, really, but it’ll be super sad to write about a couple of them, and I’m tired of crying. Instead, I’m going to write about something else in an effort to distract myself. (Otherwise known as denial.)

So let’s talk about leggings.

Several people and a couple of “news” outlets have been sharing a video of a woman offering some style advice. Here’s the gist of it:

Some of you people like to use leggins as britches. As pants pants. That ain’t how they’re supposed to be wore. … Lawd Jesus. White leggins. Thems a big ol’ no-no.

She’s very concerned about people showing their rears, and I’m sort of confused because the leggings I know about are basically yoga pants, and people show their rears in those all the time. (Oh crap. Am I supposed to cover my rear in yoga pants?)

Why are we so offended by someone else’s choice of clothing, anyway? And why do we think we have the right to shame people for not complying with our opinion? Does “say something nice or say nothing” no longer apply? I mean, are we actually being harmed by someone else’s attire? It’s not like second-hand leggings is a thing.

Also, please never use “thems” as a substitute for “those are.” Because if you do, I can’t be friends with you anymore.

I just violated my own “nice or nothing” rule, didn’t I? Lawd Jesus.

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